How to Know When You’re Dysregulated
(5 Signs You’re in a Survival Loop)
We talk a lot about routines.
We talk a lot about discipline.
We talk a lot about productivity.
But the truth is simple:
None of it works when your nervous system is overwhelmed.
And most of the time, when we feel “stuck,” “behind,” or “off,” what’s really happening is that our body has slipped into a survival loop — often quietly, subtly, and long before we realize it.
Understanding your own signs of dysregulation is one of the most powerful things you can learn.
It gives you back your choice.
It gives you back your capacity.
It gives you back you.
Let’s walk through the five signs I see the most — and how to meet each one with softness instead of pressure.
1. You Feel Like Everything Is “Too Much” (Even the Small Things)
This might look like:
- suddenly feeling irritated
- not wanting to open emails
- avoiding small tasks
- craving silence, darkness, or solitude
- wanting to hide
This doesn’t mean you’re being dramatic.
It means your body is trying to reduce sensory input so it can breathe.
Try this:
Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Take three slow exhales — longer than your inhales.
Exhale = safety.
2. You Can’t Make Simple Decisions
When your nervous system is overwhelmed, the part of your brain responsible for executive function goes offline. This is why something as small as “What do I want for dinner?” suddenly feels impossible.
You’re not indecisive.
You’re overloaded.
Try this:
Pick one next step only — not the whole list.
Your brain needs a single point of focus to find its footing again.
3. Your Thoughts Start Spiraling
Rumination, what-ifs, perfectionism, worst-case scenarios — these are all signs your system is scanning for danger.
Internal chaos is a cue, not a character flaw.
Try this:
Name five things you see, four you hear, three you feel, two you smell, one you taste.
A sensory drop brings your mind back into your body.
4. You Freeze or Shut Down Completely
The freeze response is one of the most misunderstood forms of dysregulation. It’s not laziness.
It’s not avoidance.
It’s not procrastination.
It’s your body hitting the brakes because it doesn’t feel safe enough to move forward.
Try this:
Micro-movement.
Stand up. Shake your hands. Roll your shoulders.
Movement signals “I’m here; I’m okay.”
5. You Snap, React, or Feel Out of Character
Emotional capacity shrinks when your system is overwhelmed.
This is why small stressors suddenly feel big.
Your body is trying to protect you — often clumsily.
Try this:
A slow, deep inhale through the nose and a long sigh out of the mouth.
Sound is regulation.
Release what’s stuck.
A Soft Reframe
Your dysregulation isn’t a failure.
It’s an invitation.
Your nervous system isn’t trying to sabotage you — it’s trying to keep you alive in the only language it knows.
When you learn to understand your cues, you don’t just feel better…
you build systems that actually hold you.
Because structure only works when your body feels safe enough to receive it.
If You’re Ready to Build a System That Supports You
This post is just the beginning.
Your nervous system is the foundation of everything you create — your routines, your habits, your plans, your progress.
And that’s exactly why I built Build Your Own System, the Ritual Lane e-book that teaches you how to create a personalized, body-aligned support structure that won’t collapse the moment life gets heavy.
Explore the Build Your Own System E-book
A soft, grounded guide to building a life that’s designed for your capacity — not someone else’s.
And if you need a gentle place to start:
Download the Free 7-Day Reset
A simple, nervous-system-first reboot to help you return to yourself, one soft day at a time.
