A nervous system perspective on self-sabotage, hesitation, and “falling off” your goals

Have you ever gone to bed determined to change your life — “Tomorrow is it. I’m doing it.” — and woken up the next morning feeling like someone replaced your determination with fog?

You want the change.
You crave the shift.
You can see the version of you on the other side of it.

But then… you don’t move.

You freeze.
You stall.
You scroll.
You make excuses you don’t even believe.

And it’s so easy to assume the worst:
I’m lazy. I have no discipline. I can’t commit. Something’s wrong with me.

But what if none of that is true?

What if you’re bumping into a nervous system block — not a character flaw?

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The Hidden Block: Your Nervous System Isn’t Convinced It’s Safe

Wanting change and being ready for change are two completely different experiences in your body.

Yes, you want to feel stronger.
Yes, you want to be consistent.
Yes, you want to return to movement, or rituals, or routines that feel like you.

But if your nervous system associates that change with:

• burnout
• past overwhelm
• shame
• pressure
• perfectionism
• disappointment

…it will shut you down.
Not to sabotage you — but to protect you.

When you’ve lived through seasons of overdoing, collapse, or chronic stress, your body remembers. Even positive change can feel like a threat.

So your system quietly says:
“Let’s stay where it’s familiar. Let’s not risk another crash.”

And suddenly you’re frozen again.

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Why This Feels So Personal (But Isn’t)

When you’re in a dysregulated state, everything feels emotional — because everything is being filtered through survival.

Your brain isn’t thinking:
This is good for us.

It’s thinking:
This is unfamiliar. Unpredictable. Potentially exhausting. Dangerous.

So even tiny steps forward — like going to the gym, stretching, journaling, eating something nourishing, setting a boundary, sending a message — can feel huge.

You’re not resisting the task.
You’re resisting the sensation of danger.

And that changes everything.

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So How Do You Move Through the Block? Slowly. Softly. Smartly.

A few practices that actually work (because they work with your system, not against it):

1. Make the action laughably small

If you can’t get to the gym, put on the leggings.
If you can’t journal for 20 minutes, write one line.
If you can’t meditate, place a hand on your chest and breathe three times.

Your system learns safety through micro-moments.

2. Pair the action with regulation

Before you start:

• 3 deep exhales
• 30 seconds of grounding
• unclench your jaw
• drop your shoulders
• soften your belly

Let your body know:
This is not a threat. This is care.

3. Stop trying to “willpower” your way through it

Discipline matters later.
Safety comes first.

Once your system trusts you again, consistency becomes natural — not forced.

4. Expect the resistance without attaching shame

You will hesitate.
You will bargain.
You will stall.

This doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do.

5. Meet the version of you who’s afraid

Ask her:
What feels scary about this? What do you need to feel safe?

Listen gently.
That’s where your next step lives.

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A Soft Closing

Transformation isn’t about fighting yourself.
It’s about understanding yourself deeply enough to stop making change feel like a threat.

When you meet your hesitation with compassion instead of shame, everything loosens.
Everything becomes possible again.
Your capacity expands.
Your identity shifts — gently, sustainably, beautifully.

You’re not stuck.
Your nervous system is simply asking for safety.

And that’s something you can build.

If you’re ready to build rituals and systems that actually support your nervous system — not overwhelm it — explore the How to Build Your Own System E-book.

It’s the blueprint for creating a life that feels grounded, sustainable, and truly yours.